December is here! The malls are full of shoppers hustling and bustling to buy gifts for loved ones on their lists, and the restaurants are full of laughter, dates, and get-togethers as friends and family connect and celebrate the season. Some of our homes are decorated with lights, ornaments, and trees full of memories of the past and hopes for the future, lists on the counter of elf-on-the-shelf ideas, calendars with dates for gatherings with loved ones, and school functions or responsibilities that we hold dear.
The challenging part is the emotions that arise during this season, such as the guilt that creeps up when you want to say no to the second event you said yes to on the same day. Or the wave of sadness when you are sitting in a room full of family members, when you miss a loved one who is not here with you anymore, and even the wave of anxiousness when a topic arises at the dinner table at a gathering that makes you feel uncomfortable. At this point, it is essential to ask yourself, How do I take care of myself while still honouring what is important to me?
Self-care during the holidays is less about making the “perfect” season and more about protecting your energy, boundaries, and mental health so you can move into the next chapter with intention.
Name Your Holiday Stress
The holidays can amplify loneliness, family tensions, financial pressures, grief and cultural expectations. Even when things look “festive” and “fun” from the outside, the inside tells a different story. Taking time to identify and name your specific holiday challenges can empower you to develop targeted coping strategies and reduce their emotional impact.
What can you do?
If this time of the year brings up more heaviness than joy, consider writing down three specific stressors in your journal. Next, beside each one, add feeling word(s) that show up for you for each one, and if you feel comfortable, share them with someone that you trust.
Boundaries as an Act of Self-Care
The word “boundaries” is a rigid term to me through a cultural perspective. Through a cultural competence lens, the more appropriate phrase would be “setting relational expectations.” In other words, what feels respectful to you as an act of self-care during the holidays. Saying “yes” to everything, events, spending, the physical and emotional labour often leads to burnout, increased anxiety and even resentment during what is termed the most wonderful time of the year. Treating these relational limitations as a form of self-respect can, in turn, protect your mental well-being and make the moments you take part in more meaningful. How that may look, by understanding the self and setting limitations that reflect on you, like limiting the number of gatherings you attend this year, or capping your spending or leaving an event early so you can cozy up on your couch in your pjs at home.
Remember, “you can’t be everything to everyone.”
What can you do?
Choose one relational expectation that you will honour this holiday, for example: one event you will decline, a spending limit, or a “leaving by 9 p.m.” rule and write it down in your journal.
Gentle Daily Rituals to Stay Grounded
Making time for simple practices, short walks, a cup of warm tea before everyone wakes up in the morning, stretching for 10 minutes or mindful breathing can lower stress, improve mood and help our nervous system reset during this busy time of the year. When we think about these practices, shifting our perspective is essential, as it helps us reframe the idea that it will take a long time to take care of ourselves while engaging in these moments of grounding. These rituals do not need to be long or elaborate; consistency matters more than perfection, and even a few minutes of intentional pause can make a difference.
What can you do?
Select one grounding ritual you can realistically do most days of the week. Choose a time of day and the length of time, and add it to your calendar along with all your other December commitments. This one is for you!
Making Space for Mixed Feelings and Support
It is common to feel a mix of nostalgia, gratitude, sadness, or dread during this time of year. Especially if you are navigating the journey of an ill loved one, family changes, loss, or cultural and relational stressors. Permitting yourself to feel more than one thing at once is essential since all these feelings are safe to be here. Most importantly, asking for help when the load feels too heavy to carry is a powerful
form of self-care, not a sign of failure. Asking for help looks different for all of us; it can be a phone call to a trusted friend, seeking therapy, or reaching out to a loved one.
What can you do?
If your holiday season feels tangled or overwhelming, schedule a weekly check-in call with a loved one on your calendar so you do not carry it alone.
Closing Thoughts
Self-care during the holidays reminds you to honour yourself while engaging in traditions and moments that you value. Prioritizing self-care supports your emotional well-being and helps you navigate the season more comfortably. So we encourage you to create some space to honour the heavy emotions, build relational expectations that truly reflect you, because feeling authentic and safe in your relationships is essential. Moreover, practice consistent rituals that maintain your mood and help you stay connected with those with whom you feel a sense of belonging.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve support to feel more grounded and cared for. If you need help during the holidays, feel free to reach out and schedule a session.